Stranger Danger...

Growing up, you were taught to be weary of strangers. You were taught not to take candy from them or to talk to them. Don't get in anyone's car who you don't know and if you see someone unfamiliar to keep walking. What happens when that stranger is someone you know. Someone familiar to you? Someone you would trust with your life... Someone you live with? Someone who you swore would take care of you, provide for you....love you? What do you do then? What if you're a child and it's a parent? A wife and it's your husband? A girlfriend and it's your boyfriend? Is it still stranger danger?

Last week, I received a phone call about a friend of mine. He has been charged with murder. I was stunned. I still am. When I pulled the article up in the paper, I just stared at the mugshot. I couldn't believe nor fathom the fact the that he could have done something as heinous as he is charged. I do know that you never really know someone or that you could never really know what they're thinking or capable of doing, but murder. How could this be? Not too long ago, we were online chatting it up.. laughing and talking. Murder, though? Really? His mugshot looked like him but it wasn't him. You feel me? I read the name. I looked at the picture. I read the name. I looked at the picture. I read the article, looked at the picture, read the name. Murder? In my mind, it takes a mean, nasty, crazy individual to kill, rape, rob, maim or harm another human being. You have to have a black heart, no soul and be raised by the devil. You don't have any feelings, emotions or reasoning capabilities... There's nothing to work with, compromise with, rationalize with, feel, go back and forth with....nothing... Just a shell of a person who is pretending to be a person.

He hasn't been to trial and yet I sit here condemning him. I'm trying not to judge but murder. That's the "legal" term for killing. The definition for murder is:

1. crime of killing somebody: the crime of killing another person deliberately and not in self-defense or with any other extenuating circumstance recognized by law
2. something difficult or unpleasant: something that is very difficult or unpleasant and involves great effort or hardship
3. kill somebody illegally: to kill another person deliberately and not in self-defense or with any other extenuating circumstance recognized by law. http://www.bing.com/Dictionary/

That is such a harsh word... "He was murdered." "She was raped and murdered." The thoughts that word conjures up in my mind and I have a very active imagination. The word, to me, is scary. What does one do when they are killing someone? Do they set out that morning and know they are going to kill? Do they willingly and determinedly set out to murder someone? I know that some do..and I know that some are by happenstance and I pray that this is by happenstance. I pray that he snapped and was outside of himself when he committed the crime. I can't believe in my heart that he set out that fateful night to murder the individual intentionally. I pray that he lost it for a split second and then snapped back and felt instant remorse...not that that can bring the person back....ever.

I'm torn. On one hand, I want to mourn the person and on the other hand, I want to mourn my friend, although, he is not dead... When I stared at the mugshot, I didn't say monster or animal but the crime fits those names... I didn't scream, how could you do that (even though I should have) like I would normally when I hear of these crimes. I did, however, weep. I cried for the person, the crime and my friend. I cried because there's another black male in the system. Another black man who has taken a life and another black man lost. We just elected a black president a second time in this country and yet we still have black men killing each other.

God help us all.