My Mother

 I miss my mother.... 

My mother is everywhere in the house and I love it.  I lowkey don't want to get rid of any of her things but we have to.  I go thru her things methodically.  I cry at random times while I'm putting on her jewelry... Sometimes I just sit on her bed with all her stuff on... shirts,  headbands, jewelry,   sweaters and remember her laugh... 

I remember everything about her... vividly.  I remember her big brown eyes... her beautiful smile... her laughter... her voice... her skin... her fingers... her feet... I remember rubbing lotion on her feet and her legs. I actually liked doing things for my mother even when I complained.  

I sometimes felt bad going to bed because I didn't want to leave her downstairs by herself. Mommys a night owl. I am not.  I get cranky about midnight... Mommy stays up all night... falls asleep in her chair,  wakes up to her favorite show like she's supposed to be there.  

I would come downstairs before logging on just to check on her but mostly to hear her call my name.  What's for breakfast? Lady...I have to work.  What's for lunch? Woman...  I'm working.  I would call out just to spend time with her... We had pretty deep conversations.  We agreed on a lot of things and others,  she gave advice.  I'm missing these conversations already.  It's been a few things I've been wanting to tell her...

I sprayed on her perfume the other day... 

I smelled like her hug....

-aDr

February 20 TwentyTwenty2