Strides...

In my 45 years, I'm learning to breathe... I'm learning to take life as it comes - in ebbs and flows - hills and valleys... I'm learning to be an adult.. A grown up, I guess. I'm learning to stand still and not fight every battle. I'm learning to let things flow, let some things go...  Let them happen as they may, if you will.. I'm learning to... not run. I'm learning to stand my ground... To walk confidently.. Take long, deliberate strides... To not measure my steps but make sure every step count.... Every breath count... Every word count... Taking the time to make sure I count...
I say all the time, I am Enough.. I tell everybody that.. I tell them to pass it on... Because I believe if everyone realizes that they matter, then the world will become a better, more stable, loving place to live in..  If I love myself and my neighbor loves themselves and their neighbor loves themselves then how can hate survive.. Who can be against us... Who can be against.... love? Love conquers all.. not some or a little bit but all.. Love... my most favorite thing in the world... To be loved and to love... It is a truly awesome feeling...  But #whereheatdoe?  He's around.. He's coming and he's coming for me... like gangbusters... He's going to love me like I have never been loved before and he will WANT to love me.. I won't have to poke him.. prod him... conjole him into loving me... Bitch about him not loving me or asking, "Where do we stand? "Where do I stand?" "What are we doing?" "What's going on with us?"... or feelimg pathetic and unloved, unwanted, and pushed aside... Nah, this cat is gonna love because HE. WILL. LOVE. ME. Even on the days where I feel unloved, unworthy to be love and needing to be coddled... HE WILL LOVE ME.... even when I am bitchy towards him or mean, or evil or even being hateful.. He will understand that this is me... This is who I am.... Moody, melancholy, standoffish, sometimes introverted, sometimes loud, curse a LOT and can go from 0 to Jersey in 2.5 seconds flat... Just sit in the car with me for five minutes and the light turns green and the person in the car ahead of me just sits there... BLAM! BLAM! What are you doing?! I will scream.. Don'tcha see the light, asshole?!?! Or let someone say something to my baby... Maaan, you don't want this problem.... But hey, this is me... A work in progress..... A work in progress who is learning to breathe... Learning to go with the flow.. Learning to take life as it comes.. in ebbs and flows.. hills and valleys.. love and unloved.. yet standing still.. not running... not walking either.. Just taking slow, confident, long, deliberate strides.... to my destiny... my future... my love... my life....

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