Motivation

 

When I was asked to do this piece, I wasn’t excited about it...

I'm not a motivator or inspirational or even at times, an enthusiastic type poet

I am a love type poet

I write about rainbows, broken hearts and unicorns type stuff

However, 

I know when I was your age I was excited about being on my own and making my way in the world and no one could tell me what to do

They would say stop being grown

Or

Don't rush to grow up

But 

listen, I was ready!

I had a job, a car and I thought i knew everything! 

I wanted to see what was out there! I wanted to see a world beyond Willingboro NJ...

I didn't listen. 

I was hard headed

I had a baby at 19

I thought I was grown

But what I didn't realize 

Was

Life is hard.

Life will make you question everything you were taught

Life will challenge you.

It will bring out the best in you 

Or the worst

But

It's up to you to figure out which path gets the most energy.

It's up to you to sell people on your dreams

If you believe it, don't let anyone change your mind..

If you believe it, YOU can make it happen...

You'll have to..

YOU CAN DO THIS!!

You can make all your dreams come true.

From a thought

A simple notion

A small action

A tiny reaction

That to some, it will be TOO grand…

But not for you

Because

THIS… IS… YOUR… LIFE!

YOU… ARE… THE… FUTURE

You are here to put your stamp on the world

Give them something to believe in

You will be their

INSPIRATION

their

MOTIVATION

their

LIFE LONG MEMORIES

That you create

Now is the time for you..

and ALL your BLACK GIRL MAGIC

In all your newfound freedom

To forge your own paths

to blaze your own trails,

to fight your way through adversity

To never give up

Bump the naysayers and the do nothings

Show them you got this

You've come too far to turn back

For the future is yours

You're heading towards the wonderful

Marching to the beat of your drum

Leading them like a piped piper

Leaving melodic bread crumbs along the way

Striving

With your

Head held high

Determined

But....

A word of caution

There will be road blocks

You will stumble 

Lose your footing

You may even fall

But hear me when I tell you

never...EVER.. give up...

Get up

Dust yaself off

Keep moving 

Keep pushing forward

It's up to you now

To carry the torch

For the next generation

Because 

YOU... ARE... THE... FUTURE!!!

-aDr

February 16 TwentyTwenty2

My Mother

 I miss my mother.... 

My mother is everywhere in the house and I love it.  I lowkey don't want to get rid of any of her things but we have to.  I go thru her things methodically.  I cry at random times while I'm putting on her jewelry... Sometimes I just sit on her bed with all her stuff on... shirts,  headbands, jewelry,   sweaters and remember her laugh... 

I remember everything about her... vividly.  I remember her big brown eyes... her beautiful smile... her laughter... her voice... her skin... her fingers... her feet... I remember rubbing lotion on her feet and her legs. I actually liked doing things for my mother even when I complained.  

I sometimes felt bad going to bed because I didn't want to leave her downstairs by herself. Mommys a night owl. I am not.  I get cranky about midnight... Mommy stays up all night... falls asleep in her chair,  wakes up to her favorite show like she's supposed to be there.  

I would come downstairs before logging on just to check on her but mostly to hear her call my name.  What's for breakfast? Lady...I have to work.  What's for lunch? Woman...  I'm working.  I would call out just to spend time with her... We had pretty deep conversations.  We agreed on a lot of things and others,  she gave advice.  I'm missing these conversations already.  It's been a few things I've been wanting to tell her...

I sprayed on her perfume the other day... 

I smelled like her hug....

-aDr

February 20 TwentyTwenty2

Mortality

Omar died today. Well, Michael K. Williams died today. He was found dead in his place, alone. Overdose they think. This hits different because a lot of us grew up with this guy. Watched him on The Wire and on Boardwalk Empire and countless other shows. He was brilliant in all of them and now he's gone. 

 I don't usually write about celebrities... it's not my thing but as I said.... this one hit differently.. . He wrote a post about his mortality when Kobe died. He wrote, what would his legacy be? How would he be remembered and would he die alone? 

I think about these things often as I live by myself and my son is living in another state. I wonder what would my legacy be and how would I die? One thing about death, it will make you question your whole life... It will make you feel...mortal. Did I live my life to the fullest? Do I have regrets? What could I do differently or did I really and truly love the way I wanted? 

 I've thought of these things a lot but most recently - yesterday, death has been on my mind... With Covid lingering about (to Vax or not IS the question and my choice), diabetes, high blood pressure, cholesterol and other silent killers... what would be my legacy...? What imprint or impact will I leave?

 I'm not suicidal or anything like that. Just reflective... MKW was 4 years my senior and although I don't do drugs and an overdose is a stretch; death is inevitable.. 

One day, we'll all be gone... So what's the resolution? The end game? A solution? Simple.. live.. love.. laugh like it's ya last day on earth.

~aDr

September Seventh Twenty21

Wonderment

 I too wonder how you got here..

Trying to pull apart my defenses and sneak under the wall. 

Brazenly walking thru the door as if you belong.. 

...here. 

How did you get here is the song playing in the background.. 

Deborah Cox is so profoundly singing my thoughts unbeknownst to her and still.. 

I’ve asked myself that question a dozen times; for, this was suppose to be fun..

Let’s hang out, chill, fuck if we must but the keyword here is FUN. 

How did you get here is now synonymous to Don’t leave me Girl… 

Well, in your case Man but I couldn’t find the appropriate song to go with the sentiment.. 

You get the gest... 

How did you get here... 

Nobody's suppose to be here... 

I tried that love thing for the last time... 

Now I’m waiting for your call. 

Your early morning text, 

the sound of my name on your lips… 

the smile, 

the eyes 

and of course my favorite...

the eyelashes that flutter ever so sweetly when you’re sleepy… 

I didn’t want this to happen… 

Tried to keep it from happening... 

But yet, here you are... 

in my midst...

dropping bread crumbs like Hansel and Gretel...

leading me on a detailed, yet, melodic path as if you are my piped piper… 

…and all I keep hearing is...  

How did you get here… 

I don’t know...

Nobody's suppose to be here.. 

but I’m glad that you are… 

....whispering... 

I tried that love thing for the last time...

~aDr

Side B

Side B

It's funny how you don't see me until you do..

Makes me feel like Side B of a record..

My bad, some of yall don't remember records, albums or cassette tapes...

But I do.

No one played Side B because all the jawns were on Side A.. 

You would play the hell out of Side A

Everybody slept on Side B

Until you accidentally, unintentionally put the record, album or cassette tape on Side B

And then you sit back and listen to the words, to the melodies, and feel the vibe...

And you realize..

You fucked up..

Side B is the dopest side 

Side B had that one dope ass song that you played over and over until the record skipped..

You told your friends about the song...

Made them listen and they agreed it was dope

And even tho you loved the song..

You continued to sleep on Side B

Still playing the hell outta Side A

Until the record skipped and the tape popped 

Still wondering, searching for something that was in your face the whole time...

That you had your hand on, your ear to and heart leaning towards

Until you accidentally, unintentionally put on that record, album or cassette tape on Side B 

Then you sit back listen to the words, the melodies, and feeling the vibes..

You then realize that..

You fucked up...

Because I'm the dopest.... 

...Like Side B..

-aDr 

10/26/18

Peace to the Gods...

So a friend of mine passed a couple weeks ago and few of his friends are having a memorial for him tomorrow. These are times that I wish I was back in Jersey.

We lost touch when I moved to Georgia and reconnected maybe five years ago.. He shared a story about us that I forgot about and it completely changed my outlook. After that conversation, I began to move differently... the me now vs the me then started to clash. He woke me up. Gave me a verbal shake that opened my eyes to the rose colored glasses I was wearing. I thanked him for that..

I cherished our conversations. We're spoke twice a month.. He made me homesick..longing for the days of K-High when he would come up to the school and give me a hug or a nod (if he couldn't break away from the many that surrounded him).


He was the coolest dude I knew.. Had swag before swag was a thing.. His walk, his talk, his demeanor was mesmerizing and he always sucked me in as he did others.. I have no regrets about our friendship.. We talked about everything... He knew me since I was 14 and every time we spoke he made sure he mentioned the 14 y.o me and I appreciated him for recognizing her...


I haven't seen him in years and and now he's gone forever. I pray my friend is resting peacefully in the comfort and presence of his mom... I pray his girl and his friends has peace...


I love you friend... You will be greatly missed and I'm gonna miss our conversations...

Peace...

Lisha xo

We...

With love on my lips, I whisper your name
With a smile in my heart, I see your face
With lust in my eyes, I crave you,  long for you and.. In my mind, I'm fucking you
Dreams of sleepovers, sleep ins and mid morning snacks consume me
Thoughts of you coming to me makes me anxious
You are my unicorn, my elysium, my thoughts of grandeur
You are my hope, my love, my wish
I wish for dreams to come true
I wish for us to be true
To be fulfilled
To be loved in plain sight
I wish for you and me..
To..
Become we...
To become this..
To become...
Close



~aDr '17