I am just a booty call who is trying to turn the tide and become MORE. I always get myself in these precarious situations. I want something deep, tangible and intangible.. How can I explain without sounding cliché, crazy or whiny? I date multiple people so I won't get attached to one. However one always stands out more than the rest. Its nothing that I can put my finger on exactly, he just does. It could be conversation, the way he says my name or the way he moves. I cant explain it, it just is. But this one, this one feels a little different, seems a little different, might be a little different... Could be the way we started…
We got friendly on some humbug type shit. I was a space in time where he needed someone on a more physical level and I needed something on a more emotional level… He gave me what I needed more than expected which was unexpected and I gave him what he craved for at that moment. And now the tide is beginning to turn. When my legs flew open and he entered my wombless womb, my emotions bubbled to the surface. I squashed them tho. Not today Satan and not with him. By that I mean, he's unexpected. He made me cum like I haven’t in years, something that someone who is familiar with my body took months. After I see him, there's a calmness. No calm before the storm because there's no storm, just calm, peace, an easiness.. I am completely relaxed, not anxious, not wondering if he likes me, just calm. When I get home and I’m lying in my bed, I start to fantasize about him, us. I would dream about us being together, being happy , being in a relationship and becoming entangled in each other lives. I fantasize telling him my deepest, darkest secrets and fears. I fantasize him returning the favor. I fantasize about everything down to Sunday brunch. I picture myself looking in the mirror with him standing behind me or in the next room, getting dressed.. asking me am I ready? Brunch will be over soon, he says in a deep baritone voice. I smile as I put on the finishing touches of mascara and head to where he is standing and he hugs me. He smiles at me. Looks at me adoringly and says, you look beautiful which makes me giddy. We walk out the door and head to brunch. Our conversations are always entertaining, enlightening on my part. He teaches me things I didn’t know I wanted to learn. I tell him corny jokes and he laughs like it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard. As we ride down the street, his left hand is on the steering wheel while his right caresses my thigh. My girl tingles as if his fingers are tapping out a secret message in Morse Code that only they know. At this moment, in my fantasy, if I was a kitten, I would purr. I'm enthralled, happy, satisfied, falling deep into the rabbit hole, into the abyss, chasing something intangible, wishing on a choclate, shooting star, smiling the biggest of smiles and then, I snap out of it. Because in reality, I am just a booty call who is trying to turn the tide and become MORE.
