The fact that I've never seen him or been with him physically, amazes me. ..
I'm amazed that I like him so much..that I want to be with him, sleep with him, wake up to him and be his....how can this be? How could this happen? This was supposed to be "fun".. that's it. . Let's have some fun, kick it, go eat, have more fun and be out.. nowhere did it say, fall.... Fall? You mean, trip and skin your knee, fall, right? Or. .or. ..miss a step and bust ya ass, fall, right? Not fall like have actual feelings for this man? Feelings like, I wonder where he is, what he's doing, did he eat, is he okay, does he need me or anything or I could really see myself with this guy feelings? How could this happen? Not to sound shallow but he is not my type. .. He's not tall enough or big enough.. and by big, I mean weight. I like them 6'3+ weighing 275 to 350lbs ...but he is deliciously chocolate and he has small children.... I'm so done with that, that baby momma drama bullshit.. I like men with grown children... the fuck am I thinking? But he does talk and will speak with me for hours on the phone... something that's very important to me. ..Our first conversation was filled with laughter, smiles and deep thoughts leaving me wanting more. .. I wanted to know more. I wanted him to be in town so I could see him, touch him, KNOW him. ..get to know the him that's in him, ya'mean? He made me rethink my "type"... He's made me rethink a lot of things. ..He's making me rethink this love thing again. .. He's making me want love again. ..He's making me wanna change my whole shit up and get close. ..let him get close. .let him in. .I'm curious to see if he can love me from the inside out...if he can touch my soul. .not just physically but emotionally, mentally? If he would allow himself to be open to this love thing. ..? But, fuck. ...can we at least meet?
